Everett Community College Lock-Down (Draft)

(Everett, Wash.) At about 1:30pm on Thursday, October 15, I was on the Everett Community College (EvCC) campus when it went into lockdown. Students and faculty were alerted by campus security, through the school’s intercom system, to take shelter inside the nearest building. Security later informed that a police and canine pursuit of a burglary suspect near campus triggered the lock-down. This happened on the same afternoon that state-wide mandatory earthquake drills were performed. Some students on campus were confused, thinking that it was part of the planned earthquake drill. However, this time there was a real lockdown taking place. According to the EvCC Emergency Operations Guide #010, 2.B., “Threats that trigger an emergency lockdown are likely to be life-threatening.” Despite the confusion, many students said that they feel safe on campus.

This Oct. 24, marks the one year anniversary of the Marysville Philchuck High School shooting in Washington State.

Photo credit: Jenny Marin, Everett Community College

Sound Cloud photo credit: Atomic Hot Links (Flickr)

Music credit: Mansardian, News jingle (freesound.org)


8 thoughts on “Everett Community College Lock-Down (Draft)

  1. joonaann says:

    Hi Joe,

    I enjoyed listening to your first draft; you have a very informative and important topic. However, there are some things that you could do to improve for your final draft.

    I would like to start with the area where your audio is strong already. You story and interviewees are great, it felt like a real news report which is incredibly hard to make from my opinion. You caught my attention right away.

    The first suggestion I have for you is to make it shorter. Your draft is about 7 minutes long, which is not meeting the requirements of 1-2 minutes. You have a lot of good information and I am sure you can cut some of the main points out to make it shorter. Also, your introduction does not need to be that long.
    The second suggestion I have is to cut out all the unnecessary words like “eehm” and “like” to make it shorter, and easier to follow and listen to, I heard a couple of them in your story. If you want to, you could maybe use only one of your interviewees since you have your own narrating voice and the requirement was two people speaking.
    Other than that, great job! It was fun and interesting to listen to your story, I am excited to hear what you come up with for your final draft.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. joesingkeo says:

      Thanks for the tips Ann. I absolutely agree. I know I need to cut it down to two minutes and in order to do that, my first steps would be to take out the unnecessary “ums”, “Uhs” and pauses.I hope you come back and check out my final draft.


  2. john n healy says:

    Nice to meet you and thanks for the fantastic feedback on my draft audio clip, much appreciated.

    I like you audio clip. Great story, strong narrative and the interview, especially the first one almost comes across as an anchor and co-anchor exchange.. All-in-all, I was very engaged and interested in listening to the entire track

    The most helpful feedback I can provide is that it is too long for this assignment. I think that while challenging to reduce, you have enough content to shorten this down to the 2 minute limit in a meaningful way, maintaining the integrity.

    I would suggest first, reduce the Intro, brief history and setting to the first 30 seconds. I like the interview that starts at 1:40 best. While this is a serious topic, I would expect the storytelling to come across under some duress, more impromptu and maybe in hushed voices just to add some tension and drama. The exchanges feel too fluid and scripted – not enough stress being conveyed in the interviewers voice or the females voice.

    The detailed information in the script is thorough. Almost might be worth considering making this some sort a public service announcement, “What to do during a lock-down?” or “post-mortum” informational type story, “What to expect during a school lock-down and what can be improved?” I am just tossing out my stream of consciousness . . . just a thought.

    Technically, I like the transitions between intro, narrative, story and interviews and outro. Some of the interviewees voices should have the same volume as the interviewer (some seem quieter).

    I look forward to hearing the final version!


    Liked by 1 person

    1. joesingkeo says:

      Thank you very much for your intuitive comments. I will definitely take them into consideration. I agree that I need to cut down the audio to the required two minutes. I am thinking of changing this audio story to more of a prelude than a whole story. Please check back and see how you like my final cut.


  3. Kylie Cook says:

    Hi Joe- I remember this day very clearly – even though I live in Bonney Lake much further south from Marysville that afternoon felt like the whole state just stopped. I recall feeling so sad and worried that something this tragic happened so close to home. I think your topic is so interesting because of the correlation between Everett and Marysville you are obviously greatly impacted as well. In your draft you speak very clearly which is something to be proud of, a lot of people tend to speak fast especially when they are under pressure, such as being recorded. I can tell you practiced. I know by reading the comments that you are aware of the length of your story. Don’t worry mine was off too! I think once you really dig out the important pieces your final will be awesome! Good job.


  4. gracelhill says:

    Joe Singkeo,
    I really liked your news story draft, I think that you have some strong footage, a good story that is cohesive, intriguing and have truth to it, as well as an emotional appeal. I like that you were able to include the back-story why this is important to the community. I think you have a strong amount of audio footage for your accounts during the event or the actual event. Something you could do to possibly make this a bit stronger, is to make the audio a little bit clearer by getting rid of some of the background noise and recording it separately as ambient noise. I also think that since your draft is about seven minutes long you will need to cut it down significantly to fit within the parameters of the one to two minutes that your final will need to fit within.

    Great job!


    1. joesingkeo says:

      Thanks Grace. I appreciate your comments. Although I had some trouble getting access to your blog site, I sent comments via Jared. I hope you were able to received them. Good luck on the final cut!


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